In Public
Hold her hand, sit beside her, take photos together. It sounds small. To a woman who has been someone's secret before, it is everything.
For admirers, and anyone who wants to get it right
Dating a Plus Size Woman: Make Her Feel Adored
Simple, thoughtful habits that turn a first date into a second.
Treat Her Like the Woman You Fancy, Not a Type
Dating a plus size woman is like dating anyone you are attracted to: be curious about her, be proud to be with her, and make her comfortable. The difference is that many curvy women have been through things that slimmer women have not, from partners who hid them from friends to strangers commenting on what they eat. Showing early that you are not that man is the fastest way to her trust.
Compliments That Land Well
You are attracted to her figure, and there is nothing wrong with saying so, at the right time. Early on, a compliment about her smile, her style or something she said will mean more than a remark about her curves, because it tells her you see all of her. Later, when you are both comfortable, telling her you love her shape can be wonderful.
Avoid backhanded compliments. "You are pretty for a big girl", "you carry it well" and "you would be stunning if you lost a bit" are the kind of lines curvy women hear too often. If a sentence includes "for" or "if", rewrite it in your head before you say it.
Use the words she uses. If her profile says curvy, do not call her a BBW; if she says SSBBW, she has chosen it proudly. Our guide to what BBW means explains the terms.
Plan a Date She Can Relax on
Think about the practical details she may be quietly worrying about. Restaurants with booths can be a squeeze, high stools are uncomfortable, and tiny café chairs with fixed arms are worse. A table with proper chairs, a pub garden, a gallery with benches or a gentle walk with somewhere to sit at the end are all good choices. If you are unsure, ask her where she would like to go. It shows care, not uncertainty.
If you are planning something active, say so in advance so she can choose shoes, and pick something you will both enjoy rather than a test. Our first date ideas for curvy singles are a good place to start.
What curvy women mention most
Be Proud to Be Seen With Her
The admirer who hides his preference is the one women warn each other about.
With Friends and Family
Introduce her when the time is right, and stand up for her if anyone makes a joke. She will notice.
Online
If you share your life on social media, a relationship you are proud of belongs there too.
Food, Health and the Topics to Leave Alone
Do not comment on what she orders, whether to encourage or discourage her. Do not offer diet tips, gym plans or concern about her health unless she asks. Many plus size women are fit, active and well; others have their own plans with their own doctors. Either way, it is hers to raise. What you can do is enjoy a good meal together and let her do the same.
If attraction to bigger bodies is a big part of who you are, that is fine, and you are among friends on Curvy Dates. Just let her get to know you as a person first. Our page for men who like plus size women explains where admirers fit in, and the house rules keep everyone comfortable.
Questions Men Ask
How Do I Tell Her I Like Bigger Women?
On a curvy dating site, she already knows. Elsewhere, say it simply and warmly, as you would any other preference, and then talk about everything else.
Where Can I Meet Plus Size Women?
A plus size dating site is the easiest place. On Curvy Dates, more than four in ten members are women.
Is It Wrong to Be a Chubby Chaser?
No. Preferring bigger partners is a type like any other. What matters is treating her as a person rather than a body type.
What Should I Avoid on a First Date?
Comments about her weight or food, uncomfortable venues, and any sign you would rather not be seen together.